Undead

Fitting that my return to life in the graveyard that is my blogspot blog should happen on the midnight of Halloween. (That timestamp lies). My blog and I are officially undead.

I feel like I owe notsovictor an explanation as to why he's been abandoned. But all in good time. At the moment what I really feel like doing is celebrate All Hallows' Eve and share some of the scariest stories I've heard recently.

There are many scary stories and urban legends out there. Just ask the folks at Psicom who've made an industry out of "True Philippine Ghost Stories" volumes 1 through 2339039403. But personally, even with this deluge, what becomes salient to me are those stories which are firsthand experiences of people I know or of people they trust. Because in my frail reasoning, if a good friend of a good friend says it's true, then it must be legit.

And so, submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I bring you The Stories of The Undead.

1. BODY SNATCHERS

My sister is a busybody so it came as no surprise to anyone that when she was supposed to be handling a case outside Manila, she was spotted back in the office much earlier than expected. She had perhaps wrapped up her court appearance quickly, and made it back to the firm to work on pleadings for her other cases.

Her more junior officemates saw this as a good time to badger her with questions about their own cases. Needless to say, when they saw her enter the firm's main entrance, they immediately followed her to her personal office where, of course, she disappeared into thin air. Calling her cellphone, her co-workers were able to confirm that she was still stuck in traffic at the North Luzon Expressway.

My sister has never had the power of apparition or disillusionment. But it appears that something in their office is a very good shapeshifter. Two weeks later, my sister, being the bosses' pet, was working late in the firm. She and one of her bosses were the last two people there. Through with her work, and catching sight of her boss walking to his office, she followed him to have her work checked. She entered her boss' office. It was of course empty. Her boss had never entered his office. He was absent that day.

It's a simple story, true. But what I find absolutely unsettling is the fact that there are things scrutinizing you all the time, studying how best to mimic you in your everyday life. And as soon as you turn a corner, there you are, only with someone very different running the show.

2. AN ANSWERED DOOR

The bedroom I had when I was smaller was on the second floor, overlooking the garage and the doors between the garage and the kitchen. The gate to the garage is never oiled so it's always creaked and moaned like the undead having sex. From the garage, there is an old rattly door that was never varnished or finished. It doesn't fit the door frame properly so when it's opened, it has to be pushed hard, which if course makes the door rattle loudly once pried off the frame. This door leads to the dirty kitchen which has another door into the main house and the dining room.

From my room, I used to listen for the sounds of the moany gate, the rattly unfinished door and the opening of the kitchen door because it meant mom or dad were home. They usually had pasalubong - something which only reinforced my behavior of listening for them and rushing down the stairs to greet them in their arrival.

One night, just like any other, I was on my bed, listening for the sounds of the gate and the doors. Sure enough, the large iron gates moaned open and close. The door from the garage to the dirty kitchens rattled open and rattled shut. I rushed downstairs right in time to see the doorknob of the kitchen door locked but twisting. Maybe mom or dad lost the keys. I opened the door to find no one there. My parents wouldn't arrive until hours later.

Since then I had been wary of rushing to greet my parents when they came home. And rightfully so. Several more times, I had lain on my bed listening to the gate and the two doors, but not hearing the subsequent footsteps or voices of my parents shuffling about in the kitchen or coming up to their room.

I have since moved to my sister's old room on the first floor of the house adjacent to the kitchen. Sometimes when I study late into the night in the kitchen, the familiar noises of the gate and the doors creak out of nowhere. I see the familiar twisting of the locked kitchen doorknob. And even more familiarly, no one enters or calls for the door to open.

I've never told this to anyone because our family's not big on the otherwordly and I'm not a big fan of having my facts belittled. However, a couple of months ago, my sister and I found ourselves working in the kitchen. She was reading a book, I was making notes for an exam. She asked me, "Do you ever hear noises here at night?"

I had a sneaking suspicion that I knew what she was hinting at, but decided to play it cool, in case I was wrong. "Noises like what?"

"Well, when I used to study here late at night, I'd hear the gate open and close, and then that ratty door, and then sometimes someone would try to open the kitchen door, but when I look out the window, there would be no one there."

3. HOUSE BLESSING

Most of the time, blessing a house is a good thing. Sometimes, it makes matters worse.

My mom's friend used to spend his Friday nights with his drinking buddies playing poker at a friend's townhouse basement somewhere along Balete Drive. Recently, the friend who owned the house confessed to him that they were looking for a priest to bless the house. My mom's friend was perplexed because his friend's family had been living in that house for years, and blessings usually take place the first couple of months after a family moves in.

The friend explained that for the longest time, their maid had complained about ghosts walking about in the house's basement and that sometimes when she ironed clothes there, they would just watch her from the minute she stepped in to the minute she stepped out. She endured this of course because her employers did not believe her, and dismissed her claims as vestiges of her rural upbringing. They were forced to believe her, however, when a high chair (complete with a baby sitting on it) was sent levitating back into a wall right before their very eyes during dinner.

My mom's friend caught up with his friend again a few weeks later. They had finally had the house blessed. He explained that the priest was careful to bless the perimeters of the house so that no malignant entities could enter it. Ever since, the maid has reported that the basement has been free of any ghostly sightings, and nary a piece of furniture has been thrown against a wall.

"But we're still moving out," the friend added.

"But I thought the blessing worked? No more ghosts in the basement?"

"No more ghosts within the entire perimeter, actually. But it's still disturbing when you're trying to sleep at night and all the ghosts you cast out are just staring at you from outside the window."

4. JOANNE

My sister's friend went to one of the old law schools in Manila. For one particular class, their room was on the building's top floor where no one usually went. Wishing to go unnoticed in the professor's class, she chose a seat by the window.

The class was progressing normally enough. Until she heard someone calling her name. She looked around the classroom, thinking that a classmate was trying to get her attention. The voice kept calling "Joanne, Joanne!" but no one's mouth was moving - everyone seemed intent on the lecture, and no one seemed to be hearing the voice apart from her.

Becoming more and more anxious, she decided to block the voice out and pay really close attention to the lecture. The voice continued to call her name for ten more minutes. And then it ceased. The class ended, with no one at all telling her that they had heard someone calling her name. Outside the room, however, one of her classmates spoke to her.

"Did you feel anything strange during class?"

"Why?"

"It's just that in the middle of the lecture, someone sat beside you."

"Who?"

"All I could see was a shadow, but it moved towards you and sat with you throughout class."

On the day of the next class, Joanne chose a different seat, but as her bad luck would have it, the seat beside her was empty. This time before she heard anything, she saw a figure which, according to her, almost looked like a man, but was too heavily obscured by shadow. It walked towards her and sat beside her. It again proceeded to call her "Joanne, Joanne. . ."

Trying to employ the same strength of will she had used the other day, she blocked out the now-embodied voice and paid as much attention to the lecture as she could.

The thing sitting beside her merely leaned in closer to her, pressed his head so close to her face they were almost touching and continued, "Joanne, Joanne . . ."

5. HUNGRY

My mother called me for dinner. As I sat down on the table, she was slicing a green mango into strips. As she finished, I took one strip, ate it, and then proceeded to pile food onto my plate. She on the other hand, turned around to get some rice from the rice cooker. As she set down the rice on the table, she accosted me:

"You finished the entire green mango?"

By this time, I was slicing through my tough porkchop and had already forgotten about the green mango.

"Huh?"

"The green mango, you ate it all."

"No I didn't."

"Then where is it?"

That was a good question. But I had an even better answer to prove my innocence: The green mango seed was missing as well - even I couldn't have eaten that, or hidden it within the time she turned around to take some rice from the rice cooker and then turned back to set it on the table.

Even more proof of my innocence: the plate itself where the green mango slices were placed was gone. We searched the entire house, all our cupboards and trahsbins for the wandering plate of green mango. Up to this day we are short one plate and one green mango.

Growing Needs

The other day, I was riding in the backseat of my aunt's car, my cousin beside me. He's 10 years old and boisterous. And as boisterous 10-year-olds tend to become after hours of chasing after equally energetic cousins, he also happened to be very sleepy.

He put his head on my shoulder and slept. I've never been a fulltime Kuya to anyone and having a little person feel comfortable enough to fall asleep on me gave me an oddly warm feeling, like I was deemed big enough and trustworthy enough to be protector and pillow all at once.

My cousin stirred a couple of minutes into his nap, trying to find the best spot on my shoulder to drool on. He also found my wrist, and held onto it tightly. Every fifteen minutes or so, his grip would slacken, and blood would rush into my grateful hand. And then he'd stir and reclaim it. It was a gesture sweet and sincere and unguarded - something which springs from nowhere else but a child's needs.

I can't remember the last time I held onto someone just because I needed to feel safe. It's not because I never feel unsafe. It's mostly because I've grown up.

When you're a kid, expressing your needs is expected - good, even. You tell your parents when you need to be fed, when you need to take a leak, when you need a hug, or a wrist to hold onto. You feel a need, you respond to it. As you get older though, you learn to negotiate with yourself, judging which needs have to be attended to right away, and which can be put off for a while.

I think a lot of us put off the need to feel safe and secure. And only time can really tell how much it's been costing us.

Current State

Hours are spent thinking up ways of how to strike up conversations with you :">

PS
I'm turning twenty and I'm still finding time to be fourteen. Ah well, Filipino personalities tend to settle at later ages :))

I, The 5-Minute God

Yesterday, I discovered something which shall be the envy of all who tend towards megalomania. Right here in the comfort of my own home, I unearthed a portal which, when entered, allows anyone to become omniscient as God and see what God sees for five entire minutes. It took me across the seven seas, and gave me glimpses into the living rooms, bedrooms and offices of the world to catch up with what humanity, the darlings of the Earth were up to. And here, is an inventory (and commentary) of what my eyes have seen:

1. Bored middle-aged Caucasian man in a dark room.
2. Bored middle-aged Arab man in a spare white room.
3. Bored punk with piercings (your body is a temple; if God were here instead of me, He would not be pleased).
4. Little blonde boy swinging on a swivel chair (where are your parents?).
5. Blonde teenage girl with the largest most marvelous eyes on earth (good job, God!).
6. Bored lady in her thirties.
7. Two dudes with guitars in what appears to be a garage.
8. Little girl on her bed (seriously parents, do a better job!).
9. Paper that says "I dare you show tits" (God would be displeased with the grammar and the sentiment).
10. An action figure on a table.
11. Asian student (let us play to stereotypes).
12. Chubby guy masturbating (if God were here instead of me, you'd so be going to hell).
13. Another guy (at least with with abs this time) desperate for The Eternal Fires.
14. Two laughing teenage girls (yeah i know right, Brindi has totally become a fat bitch after camp!).
15. Hot lesbians doing the nasty in a moodlit room (*became a fan*).
16. Spanish guy says "ola!" (he missed an "h" but I said "de donde eres? soy de filipinas." anyway)
17. Office with three employees at their desks.
18. Snake about to eat a chick (as in baby chicken, not babygal).
19. Cute teenage girl with brown hair and cute glasses.
20. If I were God, I wouldn't send you to hell anymore; that dinky little thing is punishment enough.
21. German guy with ski cap in a computer shop.
22. Grandmaw.
23. Tween on his bed.
24. Old guy licking his lips, saying "hi" (I shuddered in fear a bit before the portal whisked me away).
25. Frat guys laughing.
26. Two black guys looking intently in front of them.
27. Bored tween who looked kinda like Abigail Breslin (well hello, lil miss sunshine!).
28. Two teenaged guys playing some computer game (try a book before your brain rots).
29. Cleavage.
30. Guy who could seriously be a model.
31. Okay so men aren't the only ones God'll be damning (damn, shaved!).
32. Jonas Brothers on a TV screen.
33. Someone's crotch (methinks this is seconds before someone gets sent to hell by God).
34. Lady who looks like crayons threw up on her face (it's called a mirror).
35. Gothgals' slumber party (or Wiccan gathering? The power of three will set you free, babes).
36. Mother and child (well at least there's a parent, but good luck explaining all the hell-bound souls).
37. Nondescript blonde guy.
38. Big biker dude (will be getting out of your way now, sir).



And that was where my spin in the portal ended. Yes, those are five short minutes, when you're getting a kick out of being all-seeing like God. But after 10 minutes, you can start anew. Them's the rules on Chatroulette.

Bower-rox-my-sox

We'll get to Crystal Bowersox in a minute.

But before anything else, I would like to officially point out that Tim Urban is the most underrated contestant in this season of American Idol. I know there are only three of us in the whole entire universe still watching the show, but don't you agree that it's awful how much the judges nitpick on Tim's performances when, vocally, they are not only sound, but stellar.

Tim Urban's soaring rendition of Anita Baker's "Sweet Love" showed so much potential, and I feel, hinted at the kind of artist he is. I do not understand why Simon hated that performance so much when he said next to nothing about Tim's vocals and instead chose to focus on his - wait for it - smiling. I know it's Simon's last season on the show, but I think he could stand some reminding that this is a singing competition and Tim Urban can definitely sing!

And apart from singing, I think Tim Urban has also shown us a lot of personality. He may not be as charismatic as, say, someone like Adam Lambert or Fantasia, but heck, that one slide across the stage had the same amount of personality as around 387 minutes of footage featuring Lee Dewyze.

I'm hoping Tim makes it to the Top 2 to show all the unthinking haters out there his undeniable talents.

And that, my friends, is how to make an April Fools' Day blog entry. And no, I don't think that was mean. The man has abs; he can take a few punches.

But on the serious, with the black hole of talent and charisma that is this season's American Idol, I am ecstatic that we have ourselves Crystal Bowersox - the sole reason for tuning in to the show at all. Every week, I cannot wait to see what song she covers and how she does it. She comes onstage and performs her bluesy-rock arrangements, her voice vacillating from earthy hums and whispers to soulful howls (Yeah I know "howling" doesn't sound like an appealing sound, but there's really no other way to describe the high, clear, notes she delivers. I guess you could call it "belting" but that term has a negative connotation in my head where Idol contestants are concerned, so I shall refrain from using it in the same sentence as Crystal's name).

Mamasox's songs are infused with so much rawness and honesty and sometimes, even pain and longing that she almost improves on every song she covers - and she's covered some pretty legendary songs. She took CCR's classic "Long As I Can See the Light" and gave it some tinges of gospel. She gave force and tenacity to Tracy Chapman's otherwise good but somewhat sleepy "Give Me One Reason". On the other hand, she tempered and smoothed out the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and brought a lot of melody and soul to the song. She also tackled "Me and Bobby Mcgee" and I would venture to say that her rendition of the song is better than the great Janis Joplin's.

It's that feeling of earthiness and humanity coupled with a compelling groove that's gotten into my head so much these past few weeks, causing me to loop her songs in my iTunes. And if she gets voted out early, there will absolutely be no reason to sit through song-rape performances from the likes of Tim Urban, and I will happily pronounce my American Idol fandom dead.